Let Me Not Forget

The phrase "Let me not forget" stuck to my head after reading Psalm 77 (because of the devotional I was reading - Women On The Journey), and so I ended up writing a poem with that phrase (and Psalm) in mind.

*****

When life has turned its back on me,
Surely I will struggle.
Soon enough I will call for help
Expecting that You will stretch out Your mighty hand.

But if ever You do not,
Let me not forget:
How I smelled the sweet fragrance of Your creation.
Let me not forget:
How I waded in the streams of Your grace.
Let me not forget:
How I felt the cool breeze of Your blessings.
Let me not forget:
How I basked under the warmth of Your great love.
Let me not forget,
Let me not forget.


P.S. "Surely I will struggle. Soon enough I will call for help" - Those 2 lines actually bother me because Christians do ask God for help in everything, right? But then again, before we cannot/ do not ask for help if we do not need help. So, those two lines remain as they are.

Cain

After a month of hibernation, my blog is once again awoken, primarily because of the story of Cain. I've read and heard the story countless of times, but this was the first time that I saw Yahweh's (God of the Old Testament) mercy and love, just like Jesus in the New Testament.

"10 The LORD said, "What have you done? Listen! Your brother's blood cries out to me from the ground. 11 Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother's blood from your hand. 12 When you work the ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you. You will be a restless wanderer on the earth."
13 Cain said to the LORD, "My punishment is more than I can bear. 14 Today you are driving me from the land, and I will be hidden from your presence; I will be a restless wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me."
15 But the LORD said to him, "Not so [e] ; if anyone kills Cain, he will suffer vengeance seven times over." Then the LORD put a mark on Cain so that no one who found him would kill him. 16 So Cain went out from the LORD's presence and lived in the land of Nod, [f] east of Eden." - Genesis 4:10-16

(So... what happened to my life so far? Finished well in summer classes for QUANMET, a.k.a. Probabilities and Statistics... currently undergoing driving lessons... finished the New Testament... went back to school for the 1st Trimester last May 25, only to have classes suspended from June 4 to 14 because of that AH1N1/ swine flu issue in DLSU. Life is so exciting, and no, that was not sarcasm.)

*****

Yahweh,
I did not give my best offering.
I have killed my own brother.
I even asked You if I was my brother's keeper.
So I was cursed. I was punished for what I have done.

My punishment is more than I could bear.
I will till the soil restlessly all the days of my life,
And I will wander aimlessly throughout the earth.
Also, I am banished from Your holy presence.

But still, Your mercy lingers over me.
You have promised to protect me from being murdered -
He who does it to me will suffer a vengeance of sevenfold.
It is indeed ironic
Because even though I am cursed, I am still blessed.
I may be hidden from Your presence,
But I can still see Your grace.

*****

P.S. This post is entitled Cain because of the poem.

P.S.S. Who will have ever thought that Cain the murderer == Cain under God's grace?

Start of Term. Now.

There are those days when you like and dislike school at the same time. You like going to class because you learn, but you dislike going to class because of the numerous requirements you need to pass.

So you wish it was the start of term, so that everything goes in a relatively easy/slow pace.

I really don't mind not having a "summer" summer. I'm actually considering summer classes to lighten my load for the first term of the next school year. "Summer" summer makes me a bum. Eat, sleep, surf the net... It makes me so lazy.

In a different light of things...

The 12th of March was just as good as the 11th's. More of that next time (when I actually have the mood to type it down. This will definitely happen, BTW.).

There's this pretty poem from the devotional I'm reading (Walking On: Women On The Journey). It's actually quoted by the writer of the entry, Wawa B. Ponce:

I was regretting the past and fearing the future.
Suddenly my Lord was speaking: 'My name is I AM.'
He paused. I waited. He continued.

'When you live in the past, with its mistakes and regrets,
it is hard.
I am not there.
My name is not I was.
When you live in the future, with its problems and fears,
It is hard.

I am not there.
My name is not I will be.
When you live in this moment it is not hard. I am here.
My name is I AM.

-Helen Mallicoat

If one would ask me how I felt about the poem, I'll summarize it in two words: "Kinilig ako." Haha. It's a strange description, but I had good goosebumps when I finished reading the poem. I'm the kind of person who worries what would happen the day after next, so it is comforting to be assured that He is "I AM" and not "I will be" once in a while.

Another verse that came into mind when I read this poem was:

"Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." - Matthew 6:34

Well... that's all for now. I still need to get up at 4 A.M. tomorrow. We need to go to Tagaytay, for some reason. Hehe.

Pursuing Excellence

Before I get busy this week in everything academics, I'd like to share this quote I read from my daily devotion.

I will pursue excellence, not to call attention to myself, but to honor the One who renews my strength." - Richelle Joson-Ligot, Walking On: The Best of Women on the Journey (2006)

This just made (or rather will make) my week. (Haha. I'm talking as if this week has already passed.) For sure, He is always there to guide me in everything that I do.*

Grace

If there is a thing called Last-Song-Syndrome (LSS), there should also be one called Last-Verse-Syndrome (LVS). These are the times when God's word really strikes me as a "double-edged sword," and I just want to repeat the verse over and over in my head. Right now, it's in Romans Chapter 5 (focus on verse 20b).

"12 Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned— 13 for before the law was given, sin was in the world. But sin is not taken into account when there is no law. 14 Nevertheless, death reigned from the time of Adam to the time of Moses, even over those who did not sin by breaking a command, as did Adam, who was a pattern of the one to come.

15 But the gift is not like the trespass. For if the many died by the trespass of the one man, how much more did God's grace and the gift that came by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, overflow to the many! 16 Again, the gift of God is not like the result of the one man's sin: The judgment followed one sin and brought condemnation, but the gift followed many trespasses and brought justification. 17 For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God's abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ.

18 Consequently, just as the result of one trespass was condemnation for all men, so also the result of one act of righteousness was justification that brings life for all men. 19 For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.

20 The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, 21 so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." - Romans 5:12-21

Like every other person, there are times when I feel out-of-tune with God's signals, and I begin to do things I know I would be better without. (These are the times when you really should NOT depend on FEELINGS, BUT rather on God and HIS WORD.) It's just awesome to know that He is always there to welcome you back into His arms.*

Your Will Be Done

17 The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?"

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."

Jesus said, "Feed my sheep. 18 I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go." 19 Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, "Follow me!"

20 Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, "Lord, who is going to betray you?") 21 When Peter saw him, he asked, "Lord, what about him?"

22 Jesus answered, "If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me." 23 Because of this, the rumor spread among the brothers that this disciple would not die. But Jesus did not say that he would not die; he only said, "If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?" - John 21:17-23

This was the scenario wherein Jesus informed Peter of the kind of death he would go through to glorify God. (Peter later died by being crucified upside-down.) Surely, anyone who hears about the way they would die (especially if they have to go through a very painful one) would be terrified. The inspiring thing is, Peter submitted to God's will because he knew that God was in control.

This passage "knocked" on my heart again here in our Tagaytay retreat. Though the retreat is about prayer, God's will still remains. A prayer is only answered if it is in accordance with His will, and it must be mighty hard when things don't go about the way we planned them to be.

Another passage I was reminded about was when Job said, "God may kill me, but still I will trust Him. (CEV)" Job's faith in God is really amazing! Reading the stories of these people, and how they put their trust in God really challenges modern Christians (especially those in countries wherein sharing the Word does no have grave consequences). I want to be like these people too... Those who just tell God, "Lord, not my will, but Your will be done."*