Standing on Grace

Insomnia's bugging me again. This is the consequence of sleeping (like a rock) for more than 15 hours. I'm probably the one out of 20 people not asleep right now, and I feel a bit irritated because of that slight headache which is telling my body to rest (which is unfortunately being resisted by my wide-awake eyes).

Since more than 50% of me is still active, I might as well use this time to write things down. Stuff I want to admit to myself in a *somewhat* physical form. I'm spiritually thirsty and weary these past few days, and quoting/paraphrasing from Paul, "I do what I do not want to do, yet what I want to do, I cannot do." Life is so tough sometimes. I was praying in my sleep yester-morning and asking God to cleanse me, forgive me, over and over again as if once is not enough. It's a horrible feeling - the kind when you say you're so sorry, but you cannot "feel" it. Ugh.

And then... a song by Caedmon's Call, entitled "Shifting Sand," comes into mind, and yet again, never failing, God proves to me that He is faithful, no matter how much slap He gets on the face because of me.

"My faith is like shifting sand,
Changed by every wave.
My faith is like shifting sand,
So I stand on grace." - Shifting Sand by Caedmon's Call

*****

I stand on grace
Because of what You've done
I stand on grace
Because of who You are

You are there when I am broken
You are there when I am filled
You are who You are
You never change
You are the God who saves

The One who authored the universe
The long awaited Prophecy
The Lion who is the Lamb
The Eternal Flame that continues to dwell inside my heart

Forever Faithful
Indescribable
Messiah of mine

Summer! (a.k.a. End of Term)

Weeee. Summer's actually here! My long-awaited break. I'm pretty happy about last term. Though my grades were so-so, I accomplished stuff throughout the term, like relearning to play the guitar (and singing songs with it), sketching some doodles here and there and finally reading the New Testament up until Hebrews (which requires daily dedication)!

Of course, I got my music fix by listening through Caedmon's Call's songs from albums I managed to find here and there. (Their albums are so hard to find!) Here's one of my fave songs, from "In the Company of Angels: A Call to Worship."

I spent my first day of freedom in Star City, with my dear cousins and cousin-in-law, pamangkins and tito and tita. I needed to "feel the air" by riding rides. (Trivia: My favorite Star City rides are Surf Dance, a galleon-type ride which twists and tosses you in air, and Galactic, a wheel where your seatbelt is a chain in front of you, while stand at the edge of the wheel while holding the bars for dear life because the wheel's going to tilt at almost 90 degrees while spinning round and round.)

Oh, I also managed to squeeze in a few of my days (before finals week... an incredible feat for grade-conscious me) in HongKong to remember the city, because my first two visits there date back about 14 years ago, and to fulfill some frustrations of mine (i.e. riding "Space Mountain" in HK Disneyland because of not being allowed to ride it in Anaheim Disneyland when I was 11 years old).


HongKong bayside!


Cutest Disneyland entrance to date.


Oh... the unforgettable turkey leg in Disneyland. I thought we weren't eating it EVER again. (Translation: Hindi nakakalimutan ang pagkaka-umay sa turkey leg kahit 7 years ago na yun... way back in Anaheim.)


Why I love Papsy: Game na game siya!


Ocean Park's "Talking Tree," we meet again!!!


Me and the Panda mascots of Ocean Park... due to Nanay's demand. LOL.


Before there was Jigglypuff... There was Minnie Mouse. *squeals* Best Disneyland souvenirs ever. Mickey and Minnie glass menageries! (Next time, I want them bigger. Haha.)

More HongKong pics here.

So, yeah. Summer's finally here! (Now, I need to learn how to drive! Haha.)

Love. Grace. Music.

Yesterday was that day when I felt I was not "good enough." I know that it is not by good works that one gets saved by Christ, but when you want to be pleasing in the eyes of the One who saved you, you want to do everything to make Him smile.

So, while I was lying in bed, waiting for sleep to fall on me, I kept praying and praying. Then, this morning, I just needed to listen to this song, and I feel a lot better now.

Tatay God, thank You for being the God of many chances. Thank You for choosing me, and being incredibly patient, because I still have a long way to go.

Last, but not the least, though it is an unusual thing to thank You for; Thank You for making me a music junkie , and using that part of me in lifting me up and reminding me of who You are.

*****

Caedmon's Call - There's Only One (Holy One)

Left his seamless robe behind
Woke up in a stable crying
Lived and died and rose again
Savior for a guilty land

It's a story like a children's tune
And it's grown familiar as the moon
So now I ride my camel high
And I'm aiming for the needle's eye

I chased the wind, but I chased in vain
I chased the earth, but it would not sustain

[Chorus:]
There's only one who never fails
To beckon the morning light
There's only one who sets loose the gales
And ties the trees down tight
When all around my soul gives way
He is all my hope and stay
There's only one, only one Holy One

Lord, You are my Prince of Peace
But this war brings me to my knees
See there's a table You've prepared
And all my enemies are there
But where my Shepherd leads
Where else can I go
Who else fills my cup till it overflows

[Chorus]

There's only one who never fails
To beckon the morning light
There's only one who sets loose the gales
And ties the trees down tight

To the Solid Rock I fly
Though He bids me come and die
There's only one, only one Holy One

[Chorus]

That Kind of Love

It's that time of the year again. People appreciate their loved ones through cards, roses, chocolates and even stuffed toys. Lovers go date somewhere. People profess their admiration to their crushes... Oh, the things people do for love.

Of all the kinds of love that exists in this world, the kind of love which really intrigues me is a parent's love, especially a father's love for his daughter. What is it that makes a father write a song about giving away his daughter in marriage, and why is it hard to let her go? If you've heard "Butterfly Kisses" by Bob Carlisle, you know what I'm talking about. Countless love songs make you happy or sad, but only few let you feel both emotions at the same time, and one of those few are songs written by a father for his daughter.

Maybe I'm thinking about this too much today since I'm the daughter of my father. (Wow. What a way to describe myself.) It must be really hard to raise someone up, spend all your time and effort on him/her, then let him/her go. It's an amazing love, to the point that it is kind of more than sacrificial.

I want to love like that one day. (Haha. Im saying this and I don't even have a love life!) It must be hard, but it sure is a rewarding kind of love.

*****


Cinderella - Steven Curtis Chapman

[Verse 1:]
She spins and she sways to whatever song plays,
Without a care in the world.
And I'm sitting here wearing the weight of the world on my shoulders.
It's been a long day and there's still work to do,
She's pulling at me saying "Dad I need you!
There's a ball at the castle and I've been invited and I need to practice my dancin'"
"Oh please, daddy, please!"

[Chorus:]
So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone.

[Verse 2:]
She says he's a nice guy and I'd be impressed
She wants to know if I approve of the dress
She says, "Dad the prom is just one week away
And I need to practice my dancin'
"Oh please, daddy , please!"

[Chorus]

[Verse 3:]
But she came home today with a ring on her hand
Just glowin' and tellin' us all they had planned
She says, "Dad the wedding's still six months away but I need to practice my dancin'
"Oh please, daddy , please!"

[Chorus]

Remembering You

Remembering You - Steven Curtis Chapman

I found You in the most unlikely way
But really it was You who found me
And I found myself in the gifts that You gave
You gave me so much and I

I wish You could stay
But I'll, I'll wait for the day

[Chorus:]
And I watch as the cold winter melts into spring
And I'll be remembering You
Oh and I'll smell the flowers and hear the birds sing
And I'll be remembering You, I'll be remembering You

From the first moment when I heard Your name
Something in my heart came alive
You showed me love and no words could explain
A love with the power to
Open the door
To a world I was made for

[Chorus]

The dark night, the hard fight
The long climb up the hill knowing the cost
The brave death, the last breathe
The silence whispering all hope was lost
The thunder, the wonder
A power that brings the dead back to life

I wish You could stay
But I'll wait for the day
And though You've gone away
You come back and

[Chorus]

And I'll watch as the sun fills a sky that was dark
And I'll be remembering You
And I'll think of the way that You fill up my heart
And I'll be remembering You

I'll be remembering You
I'll be remembering You
I'll be remembering You

I'll be remembering You

*****

Just "discovered" this song recently after being stuck inside David (my iPod, for those who are unaware) for pretty much... since his existence. These are the kind of songs wherein you know it's good just from hearing the intro and the opening lyrics... and the kind of songs which melt my heart.

It's actually part of the Chronicles of Narnia soundtrack, but with that aside, I was just left at awe with the narrator's (or in this case, the singer's) promise that he will always remember the good deeds and great love of his Savior. That is just so sweet.*

Be Near Me

Be Near Me - Bethany Dillon

I follow all the rules
Well, at least I'm trying
Hoping when my days are through
You'll be pleased

I've lived the longest days
Thinking my heart was so bad
Too scared to look in your face
Oh, if only I had

[Bridge:]
And is it alright
If I stay here all night
By the shoreline

[Chorus:]
I cannot believe you are angry or unjust
You've done nothing but have compassion on us
So be near me when I've given You up
Be near me

I'm just like everyone else
We are all hiding
Acting like I have a wealth
Of knowledge and peace

But all I've ever wanted
And what men have given their lives for
Is a God who understands my weaknesses
A God that I can love

[Bridge]

[Chorus]

I believe you are good and righteous
You've given me your reckless love
So be near, be near...

*****

God usually speaks to people through the Bible. But, He also uses other media like people, books, and in this case, music, referring to a passage in the Bible to speak to us. This song used to be one of the blah songs in my playlist until sometime this Christmas season.

I'm one of those people who always seek "self-improvement," and as a Christian, I HATE it when I SIN. It sucks. I feel real bad, and this song expresses my (and every Believers') plea for God to just be there for us even if we go astray (at times).

While I was thinking about this song awhile ago, Hebrews 13:5b flashed on my head - "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you."

These are the moments when His love (or at most, what we humans can comprehend) just leaves me dumbfounded.*